All morning I was having a rough time with where I am in my life. I am currently throwing myself into JCF, but am not bringing in an income. I have been looking for jobs, but I truly am not sure of what I even want to do...which makes looking for jobs even more unpleasant than it already is. Since my brother passed, my passion has been to help people at whatever capacity I can. However, starting this business is a completely separate beast on it's own. I am not only learning the ins and outs of a nonprofit organization, but I am learning that it can be very challenging to get people to believe in your cause. As a nonprofit, that is literally your job...to get the community to believe in and support your cause just as much as you do. At times, it can be exhausting and extremely defeating. The outcome is not always what I had hoped for, and the thoughts of "What am I doing? Why am I doing this? Does anyone even care?" constantly cross my mind...More than anything, I find myself asking "Where the f*** do I go from here? What is my next move?!"...
Feeling melancholy, I went into the apple store to look at a new computer for myself to work from. The girl who helped me at the apple store was beautiful and extremely friendly. Long story short, we got to talking and she was an incredibly nice person!! She was the same age as me, and was entering her own business endeavor. She asked me about JCF and told me what an amazing cause it was, and that she recognized the drug problem in Ventura county. She connected me with someone local in the community who also started their own nonprofit that was directly related to our cause. She told me that she doesn't know me well, but she knows that my brother would be proud of me for doing this.
It lightened my dull mood and restored my faith and role in JCF. We are small-for now. I will continue to work on JCF and grow and take the little wins. Someone who knows nothing about JCF but still told me she believed in my cause-that was a win for me.
Everyday I try to recognize these small things that make me feel good inside, and be thankful for them. Even if it was just for a moment that I smiled, I am thankful that I did.