My name is kourtney and I have struggled with heroin addiction for a little over 10 years. I have lost many friends to this disease of addiction, specifically heroin. My sister grew up with Jeremy and was good friends with him. It is actually a little surreal that I am sitting here with a little over 9 months clean and able to even share my story. Thank you rose for this foundation and for this opportunity. I hope my story can help someone find the help they need or encourage them to seek for help. I grew up in Newbury Park with a loving, wonderful family. I am the oldest of 6 girls! We grew up very close to each other, my sisters were always and will always be my best friends! But heroin took me away from them and it became my world, what I lived and breathed for everyday. That was not what I was raised to do though. It is the absolute truth when people say this disease is cunning, baffling and powerful! I have been in and out of rehabs and jails countless times. None of that ever seemed to work, even though with my whole heart I wanted something to work. I ended up getting pregnant with my daughter in 2014 and ended Up in jail days after I found out I was pregnant. I remember the night before I got arrested it was raining and I went to the store with my friend. I was standing outside and I literally looked up at the sky and prayed “please god help me save my child from my addiction! I don’t know what to do I am scared!” Literally the next morning I was arrested! Since I was on heroin the jail put me on methadone. They sent me to rehab a couple months later and I had to finish the rest of my pregnancy on methadone. My daughter was in the NICU for one month and she was so strong and healthy and got off the methadone! I was not so strong though. The rehab i was in wanted me off it right away and against doctors orders I got off of it cold turkey. I was so sick I couldn’t handle it and I went back to using when my daughter was 6 weeks old! Thank god I have an amazing family and they were able to take care of her when I couldn’t. It is a guilt that I still live with to this day because I stayed away from her for 3 1/2 years due to my addicition. Every single day I wanted to stop, I truly did. I wanted to be a good mother, I wanted to be a good daughter, and a good sister again. But heroin was in control. In April of 2018 I ended up in the emergency room. i Had an infection in my heart valve due to injecting heroin. I had to stay in the hospital for 6 weeks On I.V. Antibiotics. I don’t remember exactly why or how, but something just clicked inside my heart and my brain. I cut off ties from all of the people I associated with while using. I left the boyfriend of 3 years, I left all the “friends“, I moved away and decided to take suggestion and try something I had never really given a chance, LIFE! I moved into a sober living in Ventura, I started going to meetings, and most of all I started building relationships with my daughter and my family again! No matter what struggles i go through today, I try to remember what heroin took from me. It took my family, my best friends, my life, my soul. Everyday I am grateful for the opportunities I get today because I stay clean. A little over 9 months ago I was consumed by my addiction. Today I am consumed with love from my family, I have a good job, I am able to be there for people, and I have a chance to build a future for me and my daughter. I hope my story can give someone hope and know that no matter what it is possible to live without heroin. Thank you for reading ❤️
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