I have been free since May of 2012. As challenging as life was during my fight for sobriety I never thought I would be where I am today. Going in and out of multiple detox facilities, rehabs, outpatient, and sober living. I believe the true point of my recovery came to me when I was able to really let go from all the dependencies in my life (substances and people).
When trying to get “sober” I feel there is always influence or judgment from others, not only about the “how to” get sober, but also about difficulties opening up and telling others about our addiction or why we use in the first place (the underlying reasons). Our addiction and dependency feeds from our own self-assessment by putting others thoughts and judgments in the way of what’s most important…. our sobriety. I am a firm believer that steps, meetings and sponsors play a huge role in sobriety and provide support/guidance but at the same time I feel that some of this also does steer you away at times. If we always depend on others like we depend on our substances then what’s the difference, how will I or us ever be able to be free on our own? For those who are constantly in and out of so called “hell” there is not a word I can tell you that will make you all of a sudden drop the pipe or needle and be free. What I can tell you is that it is possible and that having hope/will is the most important thing. That monkey will always be on your shoulder tapping on your head for one more hit, you just have to find your way to shut that monkey up. There will be a point in time when it hits you that the fog has cleared, that truly is one of the most rewarding and comfortable feelings I have felt. To me, it was the point where I knew I could really do this and stay sober, all faith fully returns and you can stop doubting yourself. But it will take months and months before you have this vision or feeling, up until then, keep your head held high and let go 100%, do what you are told and follow guidance of others. Being with good people and staying in environments that are new can be the start to your success. The hardest part is getting the will to commit yourself; if you are reading this now there is a reason…. Your gut is telling you to seek help, to fight the addiction, to surrender, and fight for a peaceful/sober life. Right now is the time, The JC foundation is here to help without any judgment, your will has already brought you to this article and page. Please reach out to this group and let them guide you in the right direction. Don’t wait another day, it may be too late. Please get help, not only for your family, friends, and loved ones, but YOURSELF.
A fellow recovering addict