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rcastro333
Nov 23, 2019
In General Discussions
mama and her boys  content media
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rcastro333
Nov 23, 2019
In General Discussions
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rcastro333
Nov 23, 2019
In General Discussions
Jerr, How's it going up there big dog? Not a day goes by that I don't think about my comrade in arms...We were supposed to get a spot together eventually. Unfortunately we won't get that opportunity. We didn't know each other for as long as some of your friends, but we met during dark times, and the bond we forged thereafter is something that no one can take away. We have a lot in common. We both came from amazing families, were star athletes and possessed all the intelligence and charisma one would need to be successful in this realm. We were both also missing something. I can't speak for you, but I have a feeling you were like me in that I didn't really know what was missing. For 12 years I burned my life to the ground in cyclical fashion searching for answers. Why did I keep doing this to myself? What we found in drugs was an effective solution to any problem, most importantly a way to quiet the loud dialogue in our heads telling us to self-destruct. We fight 1,000 battles a day in this respect - we can win 999 of them and still lose the war because as you know, it only takes once. We are the prime example of how drugs don't care who we are, where we're from, or what we've accomplished. I know of dozens of families who have lost sons and daughters no different from us; kind, compassionate, accomplished, ambitious. The story is the same every time as families ask themselves "How did this happen? What could we have done?" The answer is nothing. There is nothing our families could have done differently to change the outcome. Although our families will always fault themselves for mistakes they made that lead them to believe it contributed to our disease, the truth is, there is nothing they did wrong. Our families need to let themselves off the hook - they are not to blame. We had a spiritual malady for which we did not have an answer for. We cannot fault ourselves for something we were not conscious of. Only we have the power to change and unfortunately, without being conscious of what is destroying us, it is hard for us to make the necessary changes. We found something that could take away our pain instantly, every time. And, most importantly, it quieted that loud inner voice that was constantly telling us that we weren't enough. Some of the most intelligent people in human history were opioid addicts; Charles Dickens, Marcus Aurelius, Howard Hughes to name a few. I believe they were like us, just trying to quiet a mind too loud. At the end of the day, all we were searching for is peace. We found it in heroin. And when it was taken away from us for too long and our heads got too loud, we knew of only one thing that could relieve us of our pain. It's not on anyone. It's especially not on our parents. I've still never seen anyone love a dog like you love Gus. I'm sure you love Harper Rose just the same. I don't speak to you in past tense because I believe you're still here, among is in a different form. I've had more than my fair share of brushes with death since you left this dimension, and I can't help but think that you helped protect me in those times. I miss seeing you and I love you like a brother. I know you're crushing it in your new realm - you've surely left a lasting influence in this one. Grinding and shining just like you did here. Love, Ryan
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rcastro333
Nov 23, 2019
In General Discussions
My name is kourtney and I have struggled with heroin addiction for a little over 10 years. I have lost many friends to this disease of addiction, specifically heroin. My sister grew up with Jeremy and was good friends with him. It is actually a little surreal that I am sitting here with a little over 9 months clean and able to even share my story. Thank you rose for this foundation and for this opportunity. I hope my story can help someone find the help they need or encourage them to seek for help. I grew up in Newbury Park with a loving, wonderful family. I am the oldest of 6 girls! We grew up very close to each other, my sisters were always and will always be my best friends! But heroin took me away from them and it became my world, what I lived and breathed for everyday. That was not what I was raised to do though. It is the absolute truth when people say this disease is cunning, baffling and powerful! I have been in and out of rehabs and jails countless times. None of that ever seemed to work, even though with my whole heart I wanted something to work. I ended up getting pregnant with my daughter in 2014 and ended Up in jail days after I found out I was pregnant. I remember the night before I got arrested it was raining and I went to the store with my friend. I was standing outside and I literally looked up at the sky and prayed “please god help me save my child from my addiction! I don’t know what to do I am scared!” Literally the next morning I was arrested! Since I was on heroin the jail put me on methadone. They sent me to rehab a couple months later and I had to finish the rest of my pregnancy on methadone. My daughter was in the NICU for one month and she was so strong and healthy and got off the methadone! I was not so strong though. The rehab i was in wanted me off it right away and against doctors orders I got off of it cold turkey. I was so sick I couldn’t handle it and I went back to using when my daughter was 6 weeks old! Thank god I have an amazing family and they were able to take care of her when I couldn’t. It is a guilt that I still live with to this day because I stayed away from her for 3 1/2 years due to my addicition. Every single day I wanted to stop, I truly did. I wanted to be a good mother, I wanted to be a good daughter, and a good sister again. But heroin was in control. In April of 2018 I ended up in the emergency room. i Had an infection in my heart valve due to injecting heroin. I had to stay in the hospital for 6 weeks On I.V. Antibiotics. I don’t remember exactly why or how, but something just clicked inside my heart and my brain. I cut off ties from all of the people I associated with while using. I left the boyfriend of 3 years, I left all the “friends“, I moved away and decided to take suggestion and try something I had never really given a chance, LIFE! I moved into a sober living in Ventura, I started going to meetings, and most of all I started building relationships with my daughter and my family again! No matter what struggles i go through today, I try to remember what heroin took from me. It took my family, my best friends, my life, my soul. Everyday I am grateful for the opportunities I get today because I stay clean. A little over 9 months ago I was consumed by my addiction. Today I am consumed with love from my family, I have a good job, I am able to be there for people, and I have a chance to build a future for me and my daughter. I hope my story can give someone hope and know that no matter what it is possible to live without heroin. Thank you for reading ❤️
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rcastro333
Nov 23, 2019
In General Discussions
One way I love myself is by using a facemask. I usually don't have time to take a little extra care of myself but every week I take the time to put on a facemask. For me using a facemask helps me relax and prepare for the week. The mask refreshes me and I am ready for a nonstop week.
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rcastro333
Nov 23, 2019
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rcastro333
Nov 23, 2019
In General Discussions
I Love that I always have enough motivation to go to the gym!
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rcastro333
Nov 23, 2019
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rcastro333
Nov 23, 2019
In General Discussions
I practice self love by dedicating time to do whatever I feel like doing. It could be shopping, getting a massage, cuddling in bed with my dog, binge watching my favorite show. Sometimes it can challenging to do this without feeling guilty for not being more productive but I think it’s important to take time to unwind and not put pressure on yourself!
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rcastro333
Nov 23, 2019
In General Discussions
For me, self love is when I take time to sit outside in pure silence and listen to myself breath. It Is also taking the time to clean out a closet or desk. I’m fortunate enough to recognize and change my thoughts and actions. To practice my own self love, I cook a new recipe every week. I put myself in the presence of innocence of children. I watch classic movies. I try to stay simple. I try to stay impulsive. I simply practice self love by living in the moment without worry of past or future and just making sure I am in a contestant state of contentment.
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rcastro333
Nov 23, 2019
In General Discussions
I feel like with how busy I am being a student, I can easily forget to practice self love so i've been trying to be more mindful of this lately. I practice self love by giving myself the time to work out. It can be hard to get myself to the gym after a long day, but I really do feel more present and mindful after I give an hour all to myself. I also love to spend time with my dog, Nala. We have some favorite places in San Francisco with great views of the city and I feel at peace and disconnected from all the stress in my life when I am there with Nala. Lastly, I practice self love by spending time with my friends and family <333333
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rcastro333
Nov 23, 2019
In General Discussions
I love how close my family is with eachother. I am comfortable enough to talk to them about anything!
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rcastro333
Nov 23, 2019
In General Discussions
I love that this foundation was created in Jeremy‘s memory And this foundation is actively supporting people that are suffering from addiction. I also love the vlog that comes out every Thursday! I love my memories of Jeremy when we would walk the park and go to the movies together ❤️ I just love Jeremy.
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rcastro333
Nov 23, 2019
In General Discussions
I like to spend time with my wife and kids, and I enjoy working.
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rcastro333
Nov 23, 2019
In General Discussions
I practice self love by: praying exercising spending time with family and friends read keeping my appearance up (seeing a barber) thinking positively helping others
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rcastro333
Nov 23, 2019
In General Discussions
I exercise self care by playing soccer, playing the guitar, playing with my dog or hanging with my family. Taking care of people close to me makes me feel pretty good as well :)
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rcastro333
Nov 23, 2019
In General Discussions
i Love myself in many ways. A big way I do that is being kind to myself. Appreciating my life, dogs aNd amazing beings on a regular basis. Spreading love to others. Treating myself to yogurt after a long week of workouts. ❤️❤️
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rcastro333
Nov 23, 2019
In General Discussions
As the photo shows, love rescues and currently have a rescued Dachshund. Bodie came from meth house and I was to "foster" him. After one night he knew he was in a safe place, and thanked me by putting his paws around me to hug my neck. After that, he was my walking partner for ever and had a "furever" home. Also, enjoy digging in dirt and find it very comforting to grow flowers/veggies. Enjoy your posts and glad JEC Foundation is such a success.
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rcastro333
Nov 23, 2019
In General Discussions
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rcastro333
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